I’ve been struggling with severe sciatica for over a year now. I’ve started by begging God to heal me. Then I kept telling it to “go away in Jesus name.” Then I saw a doctor at Pan Am followed by 6 months visiting with a physiotherapist who gives the same treatment over and over. I’ve been exercising daily. I’ve been put on Gabapenton and Naproxen and can’t go for a single day without the two combined for the past month.
And now I’m visiting the same doctor I saw a year ago to determine what options I have besides surgery.
Some Christians who haven’t been through the suffering I have with autism and back pain think that all it takes is dependence on Christ to live a life with as little problems as possible. If anyone comes up to me and says “Just be positive” “just believe” or “tell it to go away in Jesus name and it will leave. it’s that simple” one more time, I have one thing to say
TAKE A SEAT AND LISTEN UP!!!
I’m sorry to be real here but sometimes intense suffering is part of this life for no reason at all. It happens. God allows it to happen. I don’t like it but I accept it. We have to battle with demons every minute. We win some and we lose some. Suffering helps us learn things and eventually overcome hardships to combat new ones. Because life is simply solving new problems once the old ones are defeated. There is no paradise until we get to heaven because living a life of luxury shelter and safety will always eventually lead to entitled attitudes and a heart void of gratitude.
The prosperity gospel Christians can keep living in sunshine lollipops and rainbows, but if you’re one that is reading this, be thankful. Be thankful you can make six figures. Be thankful you can attract new friends while networking. Be thankful you can sit at a desk full time without a literal pain in your butt.
In return, I’ll express the same thankfulness. I’ll thank God I’m still walking. I’ll thank God I still have a place to live even though I lost my job and my house. I’ll thank God that people love me even though I’m grinding my teeth in anger because I’m in agony from inflammation in my L5 disc. I’ll thank God for free health care while the States struggles to pay for it. I’ll thank God I at least have a digital device to write things on when I’m too shy to express them in person. I’ll especially thank God for the fact my beautiful wife hasn’t left me after everything we’ve been through the past year.
I’m still going to rely on the health care system because God put them there to help me learn through my suffering. If God’s miracles crippled service industries, there would be no opportunities for character building traits like humility, compassion, and selfless love in action.
I still believe God can heal me, but I believe he wants to free me from immediate gratification from feeling healed. If I was instantly healed, I would not be the person I am today. I would take advantage of this power and try to use it for sinful reasons. I’m not ashamed of weakness. I’m not ashamed to ask for help. I’m just tired of moving too slow both literally and figuratively.